5 Tips for LGBTQ Holiday Hardships

5 Tips for LGBTQ Holiday Hardships

Nov 30th 2016

What to do about not-so-accepting family members this holiday season?

Freaking out

Regardless if you're planning to come out to your entire family, or taking the next step and introducing them to your significant other, just know that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT!

1. Try and be cool as a cucumber, because let's face it- you're fabulous. 

Getting yourself super worked up isn't going to help you. Yes, it's scary to come out and deliver big news... But you know what's scarier? Pit stains in your vintage Christmas sweater- ain't nobody got time for that. 


2. Love yourself

There's already enough people out there judging us all, the least you could do is cut yourself a break and toss the self shame right out the window. If your family is super religious and tries to pull the "blasphemy card" on you (or if you're super religious too) just know that who you are is perfect and there's nothing wrong with you. 

love yourself

3. Start small, then work your way up.

I don't know about you, but I hate being the center of attention. If you're the type that wants to "ding ding ding" your wine glass and make one huge announcement, then brace yourself. I was more effective pulling each family member aside one by one and letting them know I'm a lesbian individually. This gave everyone the opportunity to process the news without an audience. The worst situation you could be in is where you try to tell everyone at the same time and then people might not say what they really feel. Or worse, they might tag along with the group in a negative way and then it's awkward AF.


4. Give them time, be patient.

If you just told your 72 year old conservative Grandma that you're gender queer, trans, gay, bisexual, etc., give her a moment to process. Hell, there are so many acronyms and different sexual identities now it's even hard for me to keep up with and understand them all. I'm not saying you should accept intolerance, but if someone has been stuck in their ways their ENTIRE life and is all of a sudden forced to re-evaluate their entire value system, that can't just happen overnight. 


5. Accept the outcome- but don't take any shit!

People are who they are. Some are more open than others, but the reality is if they're ever going to accept you, then you need to be willing to accept them. Not to be cheesy, but "kill em' with kindness!" If your family is totally not having it, the best you can hope for is that they "don't approve" but they still love you and want you in their life. If you're in a situation where your family is disowning you for being LGBTQ, then still try to love them from a far. I sincerely hope no one finds themselves in the 2nd scenario.. but if that's you then surround yourself with positivity and good friends. In many ways, my friends are my family and I couldn't be happier :)